I need help from a girl who is poetic/romantic in finishing this song of mine, can you please help?

Question

names Zarate (sa.. rra.. te) lol
i am a musician/producer/songwriter and i am currently working on a new song of mine for my first solo acoustic cd and i am stuck, i could really use some help and opinions.

The song is called "Red Rose Romance" or just "Romantic" (i havent decided which one yet.

here are the lyrics, and i copyright these lyrics as mine, so please do not take, (just something i gotta say, not trying to be all up tight)

She's such a romantic,
always looking for a happy ending
lost in translation
i cannot escape what i dont run from
she's something to admire
dont you dare try to put out her fire

Chorus: (hold each word for a bit while singing)
Moonlight kisses, rooftop dances
take her breath away

She loves my cliche's, bed of roses
takes her breath away

(while she loves my cliche's... portion plays i have in the background singing this:)

Say you want yours, but you cant start over
so everyone hand in their four leaf clovers
i'll never be one to be superstitious but
this is getting a little out of hand,
when everyone gets there happy, but her

( i would like words to go hear after "takes her breath away", like a catchy chorus ending.. please any ideas romantic girls???)

next portion:

her library of movies, everything from "you had me at hello"
she's the first shine of light, when the sun begins to rise
she wears her colors oh so well
Nobody, wears blue quite like you do...

(should i say right here... "you know its true"? or is that too plain?)

then goes back to the chorus again...
so any tips, ideas or just ideas of what you consider romance... i am not yet satisfied with what i have made, i need more words to point out how "fairy tale", peaceable, romantic this girl is, although not un realistic, naieve, or gullable ya know.. please girls give me what your thoughts on romance is.. i hope i am not being too confusing with my question here.

also if you want to hear a sample of the song im making i can send a sample in a email if you want, but thats your choice, i know how some people are a little paranoid and safe, so i dont want to pry its only if you would like... thanks again all.

Answer 1

Hey this a perrttyy good song I hope you have luck with it, Ummmmm i like the you know it's true part you should add that, also look up cute sayings or famous quotes from romantic movies like you did from "An Affair to Remeber" like Love means never having to say your sorry from "Love Story", also try things like love at first sight and how shes the only one for you and how amazing you think she is. Um i love looking at quotes so i know some cute lines like how shes the last voice you want to hear before you got to bed and the first to wake up, also try comparing her to something beautiful like the sunset or the morning ocean or idkkk a flower things like that, well i hope this helps some:)

Answer 2

She's such a romantic,

her heart is in such a panic.

Lost in translation,

i cannot escape without reason.

She's something to admire,

don't you dare try to put out her fire.



Moonlight kisses, rooftop dances

always takes her breath away.



She loves my cliche's, bed of roses

wet with kisses,

always takes her breath away.

Answer 3

"Say you want yours, but you cant start over

so everyone hand in their four leaf clovers

i'll never be one to be superstitious but

this is getting a little out of hand,

when everyone gets there happy, but her"





I think that's the weakest part. Everything else is REALLY good. I would just re-write that part.

Answer 4

ummmmmmmmmmmmmm.....a new Nick Drake you're not.......... And you can't even write a song on your own........ You actually asked for help in "finishing this song"...or is it me who can't read your profound prose? Nick Drake was a well -respected English singer/songwriter. But,of course,you wouldn't know that.

Answer 5

I'd finish it off with:



She's such a romantic,

she needs a happy ending

i don't want to escape all her love

she's something to admire

she's my hearts one desire



or something like that.

Answer 6

When girls listen to guys music, they want to hear about how smitten he is, in a cute way. For example 'Dear Polly Garcia' by Andrew Landon.

He refers to Disney characters etc;

"I love you more than Aladdin loves Jasmine"

This makes it seem more cute and cuddly etc

Also things about moonlight, stars etc seem kinda romantic in songs.